Fighter

From my first breath I started this fight. Bright lights, masked faces, and unfamiliar noises. The fear is there, uncertainty surrounds. Yet, a smiling face, calming voice, and my little heart is reassured. Weeks of waiting and wondering will this surgery work? Angels ever present and comfort those who stand near. She's a fighter and will never give up that is why her life began here.I grow with bliss but school is hard. Not all understand and doubt my mind. She's dumb; she's stupid, we should leave her behind. I struggle, I cry, does no one see that I ... I am a fighter and will always try. I break free, blossom and grow. Expand my mind despite what they say. But always hearing that small nagging voice. With all that I've done why let it remain? I will continue to fight though doubt leave its tread. I want to go forth. I want to share but that is not where my path is to go. Heathenish fool, God would never say no. You must be wrong I say you must go! Am I selfish or so callus that I can't hear His voice? No, no, it's not me, my heart just may burst. You are right, they are wrong, although it causes hurt; you are a fighter and will conquer though this is just the first.But a moment passes and I am struggling through, this can't be the reason why I was to stay. It is love or possibly school. Not staring into the toilet, gazing at my food. Month one, two, three, four, I continue to fight, I want to know will I soon be gone? Or will I stay in this sad state never knowing what's wrong? A new year and this challenge continues to stay. I now know that I'm okay but the blackness remains. My body betrayed, I must learn to cope, it seems so unfair. Why must I be broken when others are whole? But help comes in very little ways; a familiar thought permeates my brain. You're a fighter and never give up, nor will you allow despair to win. Though the path before you is laced with fear, hope stands strong and courage will you bare.Love comes in strange forms, each one stretches your heart. Do I not share mine enough, no I'm afraid a little too much. Hurt and bewildered I hide it away, this is one fight I try to delay. Each time that it's challenged I feel I will loose. Self fulfilled prophecies I am sure I abuse. I learn and I grow still my heart feels the ache. Love is the greatest challenge I know I must take. I feel tossed and uncertain where I am to go. Like Peter at times I am sinking below. Then as God takes my hand His thoughts seed in my soul. The path is before you yet dark it may seem. You are a fighter, stand tall, and stand strong, let your convictions be a guide. Blessings do come when it is faith that abides.